File Under: Pathological Liar

My Dad and I had barely driven for a minute when my phone beeped indicating I had a new email. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and read the message. My Dallas bound flight from Atlanta had been cancelled. It was Tuesday and the weather was rather crisp despite warnings of an impending 'snow storm.' We turned around and headed back home to see if I could rebook my flight and still leave that evening. The lady I spoke to in the customer service department was uncertain that the evening flight would leave and gave me the option of calling at my convenience to rebook my flight. An hour after I hung up the phone, it started. The fluffy white stuff that would paralyze the city of Atlanta and result in harrowing 18-hour plus commutes came down and this time it stuck, all two inches of it came down hard and unforgiving. When I called to book my flight a few days later, I had to wait on the phone for over an hour and endure really poor customer service until I was finally scheduled to leave the city of Atlanta for Dallas on Friday.

This time, it was my Mom and I who headed out. She had a different flight to catch and I was Dallas bound. We left two hours early but then we got caught in bad traffic around the connector in the city known as Spaghetti Junction. I got to my gate at 11:19am, missing the gate closing by two minutes, after being held up by TSA. The next flight out of Atlanta for Dallas was scheduled to depart at 5:30pm. I called a friend of mine who lived nearby and she came and picked me up and treated me to lunch at Ruby Tuesday. She insisted on Ruby Tuesday because she swore they had some chocolate chip cookies that were irresistible. These cookies had to be baked for twenty five minutes and she placed the order after the check came. I was almost certain I might miss my flight again this time.

Finally the cookies came and we were on our way to the airport. When I got to the security line, one of my sisters called. I took the call and moved casually along the line because for the most part there were no travelers in sight. Finally when I got to the scanner, I nudged the phone between my ear and shoulder as I began taking off my boots, and then I looked behind me and there he was. He was very well dressed and also really good looking. I apologized to him and since there was no one else behind him, I told him he could go ahead of me so I wouldn't delay him. The young man whom I believe was in his early thirties told me to take my time and not worry about it. Not wanting to waste any more of his time, I told my sister I would call her back and hung up and struck up a conversation with the young man as we both waited our turn for the body scanner.

"So where are you headed?" I inquired.

"I'm going to Dallas." He replied.

"Oh cool, I'm going to Dallas as well."

"What airline are you flying?"

"Delta."

"I'm flying Spirit and you know I have stories for days."

"I don't mess with Spirit, I've had my fair share of bad experiences." He replied.

I ended my conversation with him as I was beckoned to come forward by the TSA agent. This time, I was lucky and managed to escape without being frisked or having my hair patted down. As I gathered my belongings, I noticed the young man was doing the same, so I thanked him again for being patient and wished him a safe trip and headed for the escalator going down to the train platform.

Shortly after I got on the train I noticed the young man get on as well. We made eye contact and he looked away as though he had never seen me before and I thought his behavior seemed rather strange. Thereafter, the train arrived at the D Terminal, where the same young man was apparently headed for as I was. As soon as the train came to a halt and the doors opened he bolted out and ran to get on the escalator. Again, I thought his behavior was rather odd and I began to feel sorry for him surmising that he was about to miss his flight and was panicking as a result. As I went up the escalator to my gate, I called my sister to resume our conversation. My gate was D9 and as I made my way to my gate, I passed the Delta gates where oddly enough, there was no boarding activity taking place. So, where was he running to? I walked from the D14 gate and finally arrived at D9 where boarding for my flight was in progress to find the young man standing in line to board the same Spirit Airline flight heading for Dallas that I was soon to be on.

Dear God in the heavens! Why did he lie to me?! Did he think he was too good looking or too nicely dressed for Spirit Airlines? Sure the flight cost all of $48.00 but shouldn't he have been proud that he was a savvy shopper and didn't pay more? What a devious soul! I got on the flight and didn't see him as I was seated on the eighth row and he was nestled somewhere in the back of the plane.

Normally, I sleep on flights, but I couldn't sleep this time. I sent my family members, which included my Dad, Mom, all my siblings and their spouses an account of what had just happened. I was really excited and wasn't about to let this guy off easily. So, once the plane landed, I got off quickly since I was seated close to the exit. Once I was outside the aircraft I waited for him to exit the plane and I believe he saw me once he deplaned but he kept on walking away. The walk from the gate to Baggage Claim is through a "tunnel" of sorts and there are no escape routes. I was right behind him and although he stole some glances over his shoulder he continued to advance steadily. Finally, I pulled out my phone called my Mom and put on the loudest, high-pitched Nigerian voice I could muster. At this point, I guess the shame was too much for him and the nearest exit was the ladies restroom. Now use your imagination and guess what he did. I am not making any of this stuff up. People are people and boy, what a piece of work that young man was!

Charity Tuesday {Somaly Mam Foundation}

I became aware of the Somaly Mam Foundation after reading the book "Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide," by New York Times author Nicholas D. Kristof and his wife Sheryl WuDunn. The book which stayed on the New York Times bestseller's list for many weeks chronicled the experiences of women across several countries and myriad issues confronting them running the gamut from maternal and fetal mortality challenges to sexual trafficking. The bottom line with most challenges women face is poverty. Poverty leads to may other grim issues, including physical and sexual abuse and is often the root cause of a lack of education. The result of deep seethed poverty is that women are often divested of any bargaining power they might have, further worsening their plight and the Somaly Mam Foundation featured below has embarked on a mission of strengthening women by addressing sexual trafficking. 

The Somaly Mam Foundation (SMF) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the eradication of sex slavery and the empowerment of its survivors, led by the vision and life's work of Cambodian survivor and activist Somaly Mam. Founded in 2007, the organization's multilateral approach helps victims to escape their plight, empowers survivors with economic independence and as part of the solution, and engages governments, corporations, and individuals in the fight.

We work closely with partners in Southeast Asia, where the trafficking of women and children is widespread and where, for nearly two decades, Somaly and her team has rescued women and children from exploitation and abuse and assisted them on a journey to health, hope, and economic independence. Thanks to SMF, the outreach team and shelters have international support, and our Voices For Change survivor-leaders work as advocates, activists, and catalysts of next-generation change.

On a deeper level, we see the impact of this work in subtle shifts in cultural norms, in a proud network of entrepreneurial female survivors starting businesses and social enterprises, in open conversations on human trafficking in mass media, in strategic government and police partnerships, and in a growing trust in the rule of law, which is critical to combating corruption and protecting the victims. All of these are steps down a road to end sex slavery for good. (The information about the Somaly Mam Foundation was taken from the "Mission" section of the Somaly Mam Foundation webpage).

Disclaimer: The Harriet Project does not endorse the charities that are featured on Charity Tuesday. Before making a donation or getting involved in any capacity, please research the charities featured to make sure they are actually involved in the work they claim to be doing. 

Charity Tuesday {Rwandan Orphans Assistance Response (ROAR)}

Rwandan Orphans Assistance Response Incorporated (ROAR Inc.) is a non profit organisation based in Sydney Australia, whose mission is to improve educational outcomes of Rwandan orphans and disadvantaged children. We strongly believe that education is the key to the success of Rwanda’s future, the children of Rwanda. Our aim is to raise funds to assist disadvantaged children and orphans in rural areas of Rwanda in the area of education and health.
We work closely with primary schools in Rwanda to identify those children in need. We are committed to raising funds to help pay school related expenses such as uniforms, shoes and school supplies, on behalf of the orphans and disadvantaged children in Rwanda. To date we have assisted more than 1000 orphans and disadvantaged children at Linganwe School. This year we are extending our projects to include providing access to clean water to the children of Linganwe School, by building a well in the school, that the entire village can share (The information about ROAR was taken from the "About Us" section of the ROAR webpage).

Disclaimer: The Harriet Project does not endorse the charities that are featured on Charity Tuesday. Before making a donation or getting involved in any capacity, please research the charities featured to make sure they are actually involved in the work they claim to be doing. 

What are you?

Source: Fox Searchlight

The movie “The Way, Way Back,” tells the coming of age story of a 14-year old boy, Duncan, who takes a summer road trip with his mother, her boyfriend Trent (played by the awesomely talented Steve Carell), and Trent’s daughter to his beach house in a small seaside town in Massachusetts. On the drive to the house, Trent strikes up a conversation with Duncan and proceeds to ask him what he thought he was on a scale of 1-10. After some thought, Duncan responds that he is a 6. Trent finds Duncan’s response pretty amusing, amusing because he is tickled by Duncan’s audacity to think so highly of himself, and proceeds to tell Duncan that he is not a 6 but rather a 3. Young Duncan does not refute Trent’s pronouncement that he is a 3 and instead seethes with anger and resentment towards Trent. Trent of course is the stereotypical overbearing and pushy boyfriend who is clearly irritated by Duncan but puts up with him to be with his Mom whom he ends up cheating on and whose name you will find as the definition of the word douche bag in any clever urban dictionary. 

Over the course of the movie, Duncan develops healthy friendships with other adult males who reaffirm him and build up his self-esteem that Trent was so bent on destroying. The movie was very witty and well written, however, I could not stop thinking about the opening scene in the car where Trent tries to define Duncan. That scene resonated with me because placing tags on people seems to be the highlight of our culture. It’s not uncommon for some men to label women as dimes and give less worthy attributions to other women they believe do not meet some standard of beauty. Likewise, it is commonplace for women to define other women, a practice that is even more vitriolic than that engaged in by men. But putting people in so called boxes because of their physical appearance was not what caught my attention, but rather doing so because of what society feels they can or cannot achieve. Trent did not think Duncan was a 3 because of his appearance but on the grand scale in the world of cool, cooler and coolest, Duncan wasn’t so hot in his opinion. Funny to think that Facebook started in just the same way, with a young kid sizing up students in a database based on their appearance. 

Truth is, as a group humans can be so vindictive. While we like the warm and fuzzy clichés that celebrate acceptance and decry intolerance, at some point most of us have participated in sizing up and putting people in a box based on our perceptions. They weren’t cool enough, didn’t go to the right school, didn’t wear the right clothes, were not as bright as we would like and the list goes on. What’s ugly about our labels is along that trajectory we turn inward and start to tear ourselves down based not only on what society tells us we are but what our perceived inadequacies inform us about ourselves. Having healthy self-esteem though can sometimes be tricky because it could straddle the fence between a healthy opinion of oneself and pure hubris. So how do we tell the difference? If a person walks into a room and thinks that they are “it,” are they being prideful or do they just think highly of themselves? I’ve often surmised that as long as a person does not think comparatively in terms of “I am the most intelligent in the room and everyone else is ignorant,” there might be room for redemption. It might be healthy to think that one is the most intelligent in the room, but to be aware that there are others more intelligent and to be open to learning from said more intelligent people in the room. If said person thinks they have attained and cannot be students and see others as inferior then that might be considered prideful or no? So how do we define ourselves in a way that is healthy, without bordering on being prideful and refuting labels that others might attempt to put on us?

Charity Tuesday {Mpilonhle}

Mpilonhle, zulu for good life, is a non-governmental organization dedicated to helping one of South Africa’s poorest communities, Umkhanyakude District in northern Kwa-Zulu Natal. Mpilonhle focuses on health promotion and social development of youth, sponsoring mobile health units that visit rural schools and their community to provide health education and HIV prevention services, HIV testing, curative services, and computer training.

Disclaimer: The Harriet Project does not endorse the charities that are featured on Charity Tuesday. Before making a donation or getting involved in any capacity, please research the charities featured to make sure they are actually involved in the work they claim to be doing.

On Being Inspired

Pink peonies, beautiful shoes, breathtaking paintings, larger than life bookstores, old cinema, postage stamps, beautiful weddings, warm scented candles, photography, beautiful stationery, great interiors, hardware stores, the idea of travel, letterpress, investment and entrepreneurship, glossy magazine pages, nature, and love stories crafted by God. These are a few of the things that inspire me. In a nutshell, thinking about these things are enough to change the course of most of my days. I have always been a dreamer, had an eye for detail and a lover of pretty things. At times, it can seem as though I am pretty spread out because I love so many varied things. For example, I love interior decorating and find nothing to be more pleasing than interiors with rich and vibrant colors and one of a kind pieces of furniture. At the same time, I can spend hours walking around Home Depot just admiring the tools and walking through the lumber aisle marveling at the intricacies of wood grain.

It is important to find sometime that evokes passion. Passion that leads to inspiration. Sometimes, those things that inspire us inspire us for inspiration sake. Oftentimes, they can be markers that point us in the direction of a a career, or maybe they awaken a talent deep within that we never knew existed, often they are guardrails that prevent us from falling off into the deep end and importantly, they sometimes hold the key to our destinies. I believe this is why it is important to carefully heed those things that tug at our hearts and examine to see if they are fleeting murmurs or deep callings that can lead to something big. I am not advocating for taking the fun out of life by examining every indulgence under a microscope to see if a love for paint could lead to owning the world's greatest paint shop, but I am suggesting being a bit more deliberate with actions and examining the activities we spend our time on. If a person spends hours in a bookstore or copious amounts of time in a makeup store, I think they might be on to something and are not just inspired by books or makeup for inspiration sake. Truth is a thousand people might be inspired by birds and flight but then the Wright Brothers did not just want to be inspired for inspiration sake and Martha Stewart did not just want to cook for house guests for the rest of her life. So, it is Friday, what inspires you and what inspirations are for more than inspiration sake?

Photo credit- I took this picture a few years ago at the Restoration Hardware Store on Knox Street in Dallas, Texas.

Happy Friday!